i need to success

recently,i have more free time,but the time to go back to triservice hospital is near and sometimes i feel depress because of that.
but i need to think clearly what i want to do.
i must alert and i must know things that needed to be done
what are my strong points?
i am good at seeing overview.
i am good in presentations
i am good in making judgements
but i am not successful in first two months why?
i dare not to make decision
i am afraid to do procedures.

i am scare to offend others
i am sensitive about my accent
i lack the motivation
i am hurted by things not in my control.
so what can i do to overcome these
1.improve my chinese
2.meditation
3.work hard
4.read more books